Endless BS thread

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical..
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
 
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time:
Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing.
Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She replied. "Are you nuts? You are 70 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a membership card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me. "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again, I really don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week."
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that she had fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun! 🤣
 
*student obtained 0% in an exam!*
i would have given him 100%! Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct and funny too. The teacher has no sense of humor.
*q1: In which battle did napoleon die?*
```his last battle.```
*q2: Where was the declaration of independence signed?*
```at the bottom of the page.```
*q3: River ravi flows in which state?*
```liquid.```
*q4: What is the main reason for divorce?*
```marriage.```
*q5: What is the main reason for failure?*
```exams.```
*q6: What can you never eat for breakfast?*
```lunch & dinner.```
*q7: What looks like half an apple?*
```the other half.```
*q8: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?*
```wet.```
*q9: How can a man go eight days without sleeping?*
```no problem, he sleeps at night.```
*q10: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?*
```you will never find an elephant that has one hand```
*q11: If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?*
```very large hands```
*q12: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?*
```no time at all, the wall is already built```
*q13: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?*
```any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.```
 

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