*sigh* you can't fix stupid....

[jfg455]

FYI people: do not walk into the PD and report that someone stole 5 lbs of weed and $72K in drug money from your house. I like over time and all but the paperwork is killing me![S

 

[Fe2O3]

...And people say cops don't have a sence of humor

You guys had to be ROTFLYAO when that knucklehead can in and told his story

 

[jfg455]

kinda went like this; pause, look at each other, "say that again ma'am, slowly, from the begining." (exit 1 ofc stage left to call sgt, chief in next town, sgt in another town, gather task force in back room) "ok, would you be willing to write a statement for us?", "and this happened at your house? can you show us where?" ok lets go![cl[cl

LMAO in back room 5 hrs later

 

[Got Rust?]

The not so smart can be so fun to watch, thanx for tell'n the story.

 

[gassersgarage]

I arrested a guy fpr breaking into a lifeguard tower at night in Malibu. While booking him, I had him remove his shoes and socks. Out falls a bindle, which I scoop up. The suspect says, "It's mine, I admit it, it's weeds. Give me a ticket". I look at the contains of the bindle and say, "I got good news and bad news. The good news is, your right, it's marijuana. The bad news is, it's concentrated cannibis (hash) and that's a felony!". The suspect says, "I've never seen that before in my life!!!".

 

[sgtpontiac]

Kid calls the dept to report a break in.....

Get over there and he is reporting that "someone" stole his pound of weed, his bongs and pipes, his guitar and his "stash" of money.... $25.75....I listened intently while he proceeded to advise me that the joke was on them, and proceeded to lead me over the refridgerator where he promptly removed another large plastic baggie of assorted small baggies of marijuana, pills and capsules from the freezer..... I promptly arrested him to which he stated.."you can't arrest me, I'm the victim!"... 1/2 pound of weed bagged for sale, assorted tablets of ecstacy, and assorted oxycodone, vicadin and other meds.... I did take the report for the break in..... two days later arrested his friend when he tried to pawn the guitar at the local pawn shop....a search warrant at that kids apartment located all the missing weed, bongs and pipes..... I love it when a plan comes together and the perps are dumber than a box of rocks.....

 

[CR55]

[cl[cl[cl. All the above!

 

[VonHyde]

haha thats good stuff to here, some people like you said just can't fix stupid. it just blow me away they would go to the cops[S

 

[pacrat]

Years ago, while i was working as a jail officer, one of the patrol officers arrested a kid on public intox, he called his dad (who happened to be at a local bar), the dad comes in raises cain about his son being arrested, the dad was arrested for p i and the good sumaratine who drove the dad to the jail because the dad was too drunk to drive, was arrested for owi, kinda cool when they deliver themselves to you.

 

[zzrodder]

Where do you think they got the script ideas for the Trailer Park Boys? People really are like that, it's as if they live in another world [S.

 

[sgtpontiac]

You wouldn't believe what they report....

haha thats good stuff to here, some people like you said just can't fix stupid. it just blow me away they would go to the cops[S

Woman comes in to report her son's friends took her "pain killers"...Vicodin..
siad it was when she was threw a party for her son's birthday... 19 and 17 and the kids all got drunk and must have stole her med's while she was passed out on the couch.... then proceeded to tell me she needed the report to have her doctor give her another script.....I just stared at her for minute and said "are you serious"??? "you provide alcohol to minors.....drink with them, pass out and then tell me they stole your meds?".... Nope, sorry...no report, no new meds... she was upset....oh well.....true crap..... I could write a book......

 

[fuzz]

Alcohol and drug conumption is the number one cause of the epidemic called "stupid!!"...[P

 

[hotrod preacher]

Alcohol and drug conumption is the number one cause of the epidemic called "stupid!!"...[P

AGREED!!![cl[cl[cl[cl[cl

 

[gassersgarage]

There was a rich couple that lived behind the gates. The husband was a doctor and the wife was just a house wife. The location is an estate with horse property. Anyway, one night, the wife calls and says, "Help, help, my husband choked me!". I respond and have the husband step outside. I asked the wife what happened? She said her husband uses steroids (he looks like he uses "roids") and he is cheating on her. The husband was aslepp in the bedroom, so she walks in and accuses him of cheating on her. She said her husband got mad and began to choke her, so she called the police.

I go outside and ask the husband what happened? He said he was ound asleep when his wife jumped up on the bed and accused him of cheating on her. She began to punch him so he pushed her away.

I go back to the wife and ask, "Why doesn't your story match his?", she says, "I admit it, I hit him first!". I spin her around and handcuff her, meanwhile, she's saying, "But I'm the one who called!". I told her she was the primary aggressor and she was under arrest. I told her, next time think before you call. The husband is begging me to let his wife go. He will move out, I said sorry. He says, "Take me to jail instead!", I said sorry, no. The husband calls his attorney, who beats me to the station and bails her out.

6 months later, the husband calls and says, "Help, my wife stole my ring that I was going to give to my girlfriend!". I ask him are you still married. He said yes. I told him his wife couldn't steal from him since it's community property. He says, "WHAT????". I told him I guess his wife was right, get a divorce!.