Undead Sleds / Rat Rods Rule - Hot Rods, Rat Rods, Sleepers, Beaters & Bikes... since 2007!

Go Back   Undead Sleds / Rat Rods Rule - Hot Rods, Rat Rods, Sleepers, Beaters & Bikes... since 2007! > The "BS" Lounge

The "BS" Lounge Off topic posts & general stuff with no category! You talkin' to ME?!?!?!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #4731  
Old 05-18-2020, 08:13 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4732  
Old 05-18-2020, 08:13 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4733  
Old 05-30-2020, 05:10 PM
23crate's Avatar
23crate 23crate is offline
Rusty Rat Rodder
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new zealand
Posts: 1,068
Default a duck walks into a bar.....

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too,"
Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"

Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"

Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"

Says the barman.

"The circus?"

Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"

Replies the barman.

"The circus?"

The duck asks again.

with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ......

"What the heck would they want with a plasterer??!
__________________
duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

the greatest victory is to live
Reply With Quote
  #4734  
Old 05-31-2020, 02:06 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

That's a good one. I'm definitely stealing that one.
__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4735  
Old 06-01-2020, 10:14 PM
earthman's Avatar
earthman earthman is offline
Fascinated by rolling objects!
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Tempe AZ on the corner of Oak and Southern
Posts: 11,150
Default

An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
__________________
"I think therefore i am" Rene Descartes" 1596-1650
"I think therefore i am probably a holographic simulation" C.Brown 1947-
Reply With Quote
  #4736  
Old 06-02-2020, 04:07 AM
23crate's Avatar
23crate 23crate is offline
Rusty Rat Rodder
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new zealand
Posts: 1,068
Default

hahahha good one E'man!!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 5g.jpg (70.0 KB, 34 views)
__________________
duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

the greatest victory is to live
Reply With Quote
  #4737  
Old 06-06-2020, 03:13 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4738  
Old 06-06-2020, 03:13 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4739  
Old 06-06-2020, 03:17 PM
maverickmk's Avatar
maverickmk maverickmk is offline
Rebel Rodder
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 8,582
Default

__________________
The clock of life is wound just once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour.
Reply With Quote
  #4740  
Old 06-24-2020, 09:51 PM
earthman's Avatar
earthman earthman is offline
Fascinated by rolling objects!
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Tempe AZ on the corner of Oak and Southern
Posts: 11,150
Default

Y'all heard about how hot it is in AZ right? Well this is 2020 the year from hell

__________________
"I think therefore i am" Rene Descartes" 1596-1650
"I think therefore i am probably a holographic simulation" C.Brown 1947-
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Rat Rods Rule Inc.