how do you guys handle this?

[the reverend muddy grimes]

I know im not the only one that has conversations lie this.

friend: "Hey man, can you help me with my truck saturday. Ill help you with yours next weekend."

Me: "sure man, no problem."

spend all week getting rady for my 2 man project that I finally get help with

Me: "hey man, where are you?"

Friend "Man, its my wifes birthday, (inset whatever fits today) And she isnt home yet. cant get away from the kids."

Happens way to often. Im not the type to not help someone, but at what point does it become time to say no thanks to requests for help?

 

[hotrod preacher]

I don't know what the answer is......but i've been there!--several times as a matter of fact.....


i now find i just don't have time to help the other guy, so it isn't an issue like it once was.....that takes care of it for me....

but if you really want my "advice"? - just try to think you're offering them help without ANY expectation in return.....you'll be less disappointed that way

 

[donsrods]

This may come across wrong, but I have to say I am pretty much a loner. I'm lucky enough to have the help of my two Sons, who I can depend on 100% for help when I need it, but the friends helping friends thing has never worked well for me. It's like helping someone to move........you help them but when you move they are nowhere to be found.

I have had lots of friends over the years, and one very close friend in my life (he's now gone, RIP) who was one of those rare, once in a lifetime friends, who asked nothing of you that he wouldn't return the favor for. I would help him work on his stuff and he always offered to come help me work on mine. But even then, I like to work alone. I find it distracting to have someone else there while I am trying to think through a project. Even my Sons and I kind of stay in our own sections of the shop and if one of us needs help we yell for the others, but most times we are absorbed in our own thoughts.

I see people on forums who have Buddies who help each other do stuff and I know that must be great, but not for me. Maybe that makes me odd, but I just enjoy my time alone with my own thoughts without having to be sociable or entertaining. Like I said, I hope this doesn't come off wrong, but I am just being honest of what works for me.

Don

 

[rustybeercan]

I'm from the Don school!

The buddy system has never worked out for me either except with my Dad. I could always count on him but sadly, he's no longer with us! I prefer do do it myself anyway!

Beercan

 

[Sniper]

Don's answer mirrors what I would have said. Rustybearcan's as well. That's why I have cherry pickers and ceiling hoists. Most help is lifting or holding something, the equip can do that. As for bounching ideas off of like minded people, I come here, best bunch around.

 

[LarryH]

What Don said.

 

[ratdog]

I guess I am an odd loner too then. I work alone,if I do really need help I get my son,although hes not that interested in helping or working-on cars.I work alone in my woodworking business too,kind of used to doing things myself and not having anyone around.

 

[andreasklapp]

i don't really play well with others, and i find most people never had "attention to detail" pounded into their heads quite as hard as i did. so i usually work alone. and i don't really go out to much, so i don't know to many people anyway. i wouldn't mind a hand now and then, and i really don't have a problem helping people out (i love working, especially on cars), just don't know many people in this part of the world. and usually when i get there we can't find the tools or don't have the parts or it's some other insanity.

 

[Willowbilly3]

I have 3 good friends whom help me and I help them. None of us expects anything nor keeps track of who helped the other the most.
But in your situation, it sounds like you need to wean this dude from sucking eggs. Just say no.
I have helped a lot of people and a lot of them helped me. I did have to stop helping one friend so much (we stayed close friends though) He always had some pile or another he was going to fix up and keep. I spent many late nights helping him put a big block in a 69 ElCamino. I had an auto repair business and we used my shop. He was young and I wanted to help him have a nice car. 3 weeks after we got it out the door he sells it and makes a few thousand. It wasn't the first time but it was the last, didn't even offer me anything for the 100 hours of my time and shop.

 

[anvil]

I help two or three times than I just kinda am real hard to get a hold of.

 

[cantwell.colton]

expectations lead to resentment.
i dont expect anything from anyone.

 

[Pookie Bros]

Who needs friends when there's Pookie Bros. if'n I need help I just say hey Pookie- give me a hand here[P

 

[35psi]

I have a couple good reliable friendsnwhonwouldnhelp whenever, since I always do the maintenance on their trucks, but usually I like to be alone. I used to be a mechanic, so I still have that flat rate mentality so I prefer to work hard and fast without much discussion or interaction. Buddies usually like to bs and it slows me down too much.

 

[Sam_Fear]

Sounds like we're a group of loners. [S I figured out a long time ago, the only person I can depend on always being there, is myself. My older brother was always real bad about disappearing when I needed help ....like right in the middle of something "Oh, I forgot, I gotta go blah blah blah."

 

[moparcowboy]

I gave up on others helping me, I just figure out how to do it my self. I still end up helping others too

 

[Rev Tex Devlle]

kinda a cross between dons statement and willowbillys ! i perfer to do it myself unless i just cant, but i also enjoy helping other but know that most my freinds are like me and just try to stay out of the way unles they ask for my help! moral support seems to be my best quality in those instances![cl

 

[Bonehead]

 

[Willowbilly3]

I have a couple good reliable friendsnwhonwouldnhelp whenever, since I always do the maintenance on their trucks, but usually I like to be alone. I used to be a mechanic, so I still have that flat rate mentality so I prefer to work hard and fast without much discussion or interaction. Buddies usually like to bs and it slows me down too much.

Me too, plus I can't focus and do good work because I get distracted.

 

[35psi]

Me too, plus I can't focus and do good work because I get distracted.

exactly, it takes a lot longer to do a job when everyone is talking and going back and forth; way too distracting.

 

[POOKIE BROS.]

Who needs friends when there's Pookie Bros. if'n I need help I just say hey Pookie- give me a hand here[P

hehehe hand